The neighbour's red hot poker plant
grew spikes so huge they bowed the stems
until they rested on the ground
but even then continued to grow
so that the flowers bent up towards
the sun with tips like snouts and quills
all pointing backwards, vibrant bright
in psychedelic orange and yellow -
hedgehogs dressed in disco wear.

I've had my suspicions for quite a while
but never had proof enough to be sure.
I've tried to ignore it with a smile
but it's getting to be a regular war.

For it keeps on happening, getting worse,
and the more it continues, the more I'm convinced
they're out to get me, chapter and verse.
And sometimes I think I've even glimpsed

them in a huddle whispering together,
planning their next move to do me down.
I still can't make up my mind whether
confronting them would turn things around.

And the way they stand there innocent like
it's none of their business, not their fault,
and then very soon there comes a spike
in incidents of the usual sort -

the bumping against me, trips and stumbles,
the jogging my elbow to make things fall,
the plasterwork crumbles, the radio mumbles,
things are too big or else too small,

the pen won't write, the key won't turn,
the shoelace bow becomes a knot,
the light doesn't work, the sausages burn -
it's all because of their bloody plot.

Objects conspire against me !

I like to see a silverfish
at night on my kitchen worktop.
I like the way it sprints in bursts
like a blackbird on a lawn
but somehow liquid, bending itself
in order to change direction,
flowing like animal mercury
then pausing for breath, or thought
assessing the situation.
Some people may think it unhygienic
but to me it's a piece of magic.

Cremation is a waste of human flesh
much better fed to worm or dog or bird.
True, ashes fertilise the soil if spread
but, potted, nourish nothing, set absurd
upon a mantelpiece as monument
to man's withdrawal from the natural scheme
of birth, life, death, re-use in other life
in favour of the life eternal dream.
Is man so valuable his flabby flesh
is thought too good for other creatures' use?
Such vanity in a species guilty of
exterminating others without excuse !
I'd choose sky burial with my flesh and bones
served to the lammergeiers as final boon
and fly in those birds' bellies through the sky
between the mountains and the keening moon.

Terrorist incident

oh why couldn't you be a coward
just stand well clear and call for help
let the authorities deal with it
it really wasn't your concern
why did you have to push yourself forward
not leave it to others to sort things out
oh no you had to rush right in
without considering me at all
no-one else would risk their life
for a stranger even if a woman
didn't you think things might go wrong
with just a skate board against a knife
oh I can hear the way you thought
I cant stand by and just do nothing
I have to help however I can
that's why I loved you silly man
why did you have to be so brave
you weren't cut out to be a hero
just a normal family man
not a maniac like that bastard
just keep on walking don't look back
just come back home like every day
youll soon forget it life as normal
the future for us all ahead
oh god please can you turn the clock back
what future now that you are dead
now your children have no father
and I your wife have lost half my life
o why o why o why o why
why couldn't you have been a coward

Overwhelmed by the warmth of your welcome,
dancing embraced in your arms
and lifted by cider and catchy music,
I dared to give you a kiss.

It was just a brushing of your brow,
not presumptuous lips,
and then an apology on your hand
so as not to blight the bliss.

But you whirled away across the floor
and found somebody else,
leaving me stranded in outer space,
summarily dismissed.

It was only a gesture of tenderness
but maybe you misread it
as too familiar, going too far,
somehow something amiss.

I really wanted to see you again
and have a proper talk
so I'm writing this poem just to tell you
how much I regret that kiss.

Age no love's fool is lest it fret
for youth's infatuation yet
how reckless naïve passion thrills
where age's sad discretion kills.