Friday, 15 November 2024

If I were thirty years younger
I'd marry you out of hand.
But if I were thirty years younger,
you'd still be in school and
marriage might be frowned on.

Thursday, 14 November 2024

A message from The God Father

This is the offer you can't refuse !
No upfront costs; just pay as you go.
You'll need two sponsors that you can't choose
and at the start they'll run the show.

But in due course you'll be the gaffer
though hopefully helped by a loving other
so to new starters you extend the offer  -
some eighty years of life's adventure.

Wednesday, 13 November 2024

Christmas and the barbarians

I guess the northern hemisphere pagans didn't like
those upstart Christians stealing their winter festival
but, for the gloomy serious newcomers to hike
something to brighten the dark was only sensible.

Now though the barbarians are taking it back
with tantalising orgies of indulgence,
exchanging presents of things we didn't lack
and decorative frippery in abundance.

Commerce doesn't bother about complaints
totally intent on finishing the heist
by Mammon's latest pantheon of saints
where Father Christmas outranks Jesus Christ.

Friday, 8 November 2024

Love is a new invention; sex is old.
Missionary position was a bold
un-natural perversion which controlled
grosser imagination and extolled
face to face coition as a mould
for mutual passion both to enfold.

W. H. R. Rivers

The natives thought the Christians strange
saying 'Let's all kneel and pray'
'cause the only reason they knelt down
was to fuck in a comfortable way.

Monday, 21 October 2024

Bonfire night.

The little boy in the pushchair waiting
for fireworks to start in the dark
took off his beanie and sent it sailing
over the damp and muddy grass.
His mother picked it up and returned it
to his head to keep him warm
but impatiently he spurned it
and threw it even further away.
Mum retrieved it, back in place,
but a third time the hat went flying.
This time she kept it to herslf
and told him off quite sharply to his face.
Mum went back to her friends in suits.
He kicked off his boots.

Sunday, 13 October 2024

The green bin truck pulled up beside the house.
Two orange eco-warriors jumped out.
I passed one "Wow, not many women do your job."
She smiled. Walked on.
I passed the second operative, a man.
"It must be nice to have a woman around."
He smiled. "It is."