Some papers try to get our attention

with headlines addressing our worries

about our ageing health that mention

all kinds of scary medical flurries

of news about the latest findings

that play upon our fears for the future:

arthritis, heart attacks, dementia

and the dreaded Big C - cancer.

So pity the harrassed poor sub-editor

who has to come up with something catchy

to grab the interest of the reader

and please a boss who's probably tetchy.

One day the headline to cap them all

I'm sure will happen by and by

in letters several inches tall -

'EVERYONE'S  GOING  TO  DIE'

Heaven was a very tempting idea

to raise the dead in some sort of form.

Hell was invented to instill fear

and make the living conform.

Un-Donne

If ever any beauty I did see

which I desired but didn't get, it's usually

because she's quite a few decades too young for me.

The times thay aren't a-changing

"bread and cicuses" used to please the population

so human nature hasn't changed except in expectation

of over-priced takeaway pizza in place of bread

and 24/7 TV for the almost brain dead.

Tweets 7

Try to stay lean.

Obese is obscene

Where evolution erred - Homo Sapiens

I really am some sort of masochist

spending evenings dancing and drinking

at Brighton's famous bar The Mesmerist

ogling young unattainable women

After such waiting and almost giving up hope

such satisfaction when the first seed shows a shoot.

Spurning the frantic dash from danger

of an exposed millipede

woodlice, though also feeling threatened,

try a dignified escape.

I used to think I was seeking sex

but really I wanted youth and beauty

which, finding both unattainable,

just leaves me seeking sympathy.

more controlled, decisive in their movements

hoverflies dance better than butterflies

fucking for men is an end in itself

but for women it's only the means to an end

Breasts are for babies

vaginas for men

anusses only for faeces

Nothing feels finer

than a woman's vagina.

The Graduate

"Plastics, my boy ! that's the thing for the future.

Get into plastics. You'll make a bomb."

But he couldn't imagine the medical bombshell

that microplastics would get into you,

your lungs and your blood as research has now shown.

Convenience profits, effects unknown.

Women take enormous care

to hide their genitals from men.

Quite unnecessary when

there's little to see but a streak of hair.