Women take enormous care

to hide their genitals from men.

Quite unnecessary when

there's little to see but a streak of hair.

 My house is full of embarrassing failures -

instruments I never learned to play,

seeds that failed to germinate,

books bought but not read,

plants that died

and me.

Weekend

Another Friday, rain pouring down,

another night in this seaside town

immersed in the usual disco pub

and overwhelmed by this musical hub.

I'm bathing in ber and beautiful women

while soaking in cider with others swimming

against the sad tide with our unlucky looks

seeking romance outside our books.

I'm drowning in the depths of cleavage,

only saved by the jetsam waistage

floating free from the fishing smacks

till washed ashore on bare white backs.

I struggle to stay afloat all evening

till the lights go up and it's time for leaving.

I really need a personal lifeguard

to take in hand this ageing ba(sta)rd.

The kites are winging

robins singing

tadpoles swimming

daylight clinging

great tits' mating calls are ringing

The clouds are thinning

sunshine winning

faces grinning

coats off flinging

goodbye Winter, Spring is springing

Putin

Not such a clever man our Vladimir

thinking to get his way by threats and fear

instead of making the world appreciate

his just concern about the future state

of Russia's national security

if Ukraine allows American weaponry

to be installed up to the vey border

of his country. Out of order !

Time will tell he chose the wrong course.

Should have mobilised world opinion

instead of military force.

It's strange how cats like walking on

freshly raked soil

much as children like treading on

crumbly new molehills.

But the difference surely is that a cat

doesn't want to spoil

what's underfoot in order to get

a sense of power that thrills.

Gardening

Non-gardeners think that gardening's

all about sowing and planting things

whereas the battle hardened know

that's just a skirmish to make things grow.

Real action comes later with marauding thugs -

rampant weeds and ravenous slugs.