None of us are perfect though

we try to do what we think we should

but recent sad events have shown

'religious' doesn't mean 'good'.

Does your garden need a makeover?

Just let our TV experts take over.

But keeping the attention of the audience

requires immediate impact hence

they haven't time to hoe and sow

and wait for various seeds to grow.

They have to buy their plants in pots

and spend a fortune getting lots

of bushes, trees and furniture

and you'll fund that expenditure.

You can put away your fork and spade

and any other tools you've made.

Instead they'll use saw, hammer and drill

with concrete, wood and stone to fill

your garden space with architecture

and then give you the standard lecture

on bringing the house into the garden.

And this is where I'd like to mention

that living outside is doubtful in summer,

impossible when the weather's grimmer.

For this is England not Miami -

warmth and shelter are necessary.

Tweets 4

Skin Tone Words:

white and black are far apart

but pale shades into dark.

History is more about egos than heroes.

The Miser

forgoes the pleasure of spending money

for the satisfaction of seeing it grow.

Neatness is a tempting siren

distracting from more important tasks.

BEST FRIENDS

You're never alone

with a mobile phone

MEN IN SHORTS

When less than forty

it's nice to look sporty.

Once well past forty

they crave to look sporty.

Reality isn't always what it seems

when haunted by the deja vu of dreams.

We think we choose the chores to do

but sometimes they jump out and ambush you.

Every day I work the fields and walk the hills

and every evening peer over the edge of the cliff.

Communist? Fascist? Doesn't matter

as long as he keeps to stay dictator

Growing flowers on an allotment

seems to me an admission of failure

Now that my hair has gone quite curly

I've grown a moustache to look less girly

Democracy is a great idea spoiled

by the vanity of politicians.

Fallen petals bright but fading,

luscious litter after aiding

summer's proper procreation.

Sadly cast down ostentation,

time discarding sated beauty -

damp detritus after duty.

(also applicable to flowers)

. . . and the overall winner is 'Gold Medal Reg'

once again showing the best fruit and veg.

Thank goodness at least he doesn't grow flowers

as even his weeds are better than ours.

We all admire the lone protester

blocking the path of the Chinese tank

but praise as well the tank commander

deciding not to make him a plank.

"I hear you've got a new flatmate.

Some-one said he's weird."

"Well, different, being the first guy.

Nothing to be feared."

"And is he quite good-looking?"

"Just another beard."