Perhaps a stumble, some minor slip,

the slightest fumble or loss of grip,

something slippery or too well polished -

whatever I'm holding crashes to ground.

I'm well aware it can't be abolished

but will some-one please turn the gravity down ?

Though ordinary, no kind of heart-throb,

when young a romance was always possible.

It's only now when I'm old and odd

that I feel for those whose lacks are visible.

The horror on the young woman's face

on my asking her to dance with me

certainly put me in my place

as a now impossible partner-to-be.

So late but since I've come to know

the sapping of confidence by rejection,

it's sad of course but much less so

than the plight of the unattractive young.

No need to tell her, she know's she's good looking,

knows all the men really fancy her.

At times their attention is overwhelming

with presents of perfumes, jewels and fur.

She loves adulation, adores being wanted

but always escapes when she's hunted.

No need to tell him, he know's he's good looking,

sees in their eyes the appreciation,

has only to choose from the women who seek him

and prove he's worth their admiration.

But, favoured in feature, he'll always be tempted

unless he can be prevented.

Everyone says they're a wonderful couple,

handsome and beautiful, made for each other.

But life will be different after the nuptials -

how will they cope as father and mother ?

And can they adapt to domestic living,

so used to receiving, unpractised at giving ?

Just another TV ad

This poor animal is unloved

and sometimes even reviled,

often imprisoned in a cage

and experimented on.

And when on its own in the night black wild

viciously hunted by fox and cat !

Please can you help with just a pound

to adopt a lonely rat ?

TikTok-er Rocker

You've certainly got the image alright -

studded and logoed black leather jacket,

thick leather gloves, boots, jeans too tight,

Zapata moustache, always up for a fight;

no-one would doubt at all you can hack it,

a real Easy Rider patrolling the night.

But something is missing, something's not right.

I wonder if you're aware that you lack it -

you Purgatory Angel in e-scooter plight.

Famous Photos

Don't travel the world to see the sights

made famous from iconic photos

for when you get to the actual places

either they look just as expected

or more likely they don't look as good.

The photographer who took that shot

had the skill to choose the best angle possible

judge the quality of the light

select the apropriate exposure

to make the photo a delight.

But you, dear traveller, take pot luck

on season, weather, time of day.

Your photo really won't match up

but does it actually matter much

as long as you show that you were there ? 

Rotovating

Rough digging in the autumn months,

to take advantage of winter frosts

can help the soil environment

at very little cost.

But rotovating in the spring

will probably do harm.

Although the earth looks fine and firm,

pity the poor worm.

The dancing mirrors the disco music

Weight on left foot, shift to right

(try to keep the royalties light)

keep on facing the same direction

(rhythm's enough, just repetition)

back to the left foot, look around

(give 'em the funky disco sound)

shift to right foot as before

(time to raise the volume more)

shuffle between left foot and right

(keep the sme sound all the night)

To aliens it might seem rather comic

(monotonous as metronomic)

As long as there's sufficient drink

there isn't any need to think

and everything will turn out right.

(another groovy disco night)

It made my day !

I've lived in the same house some decades.

House martins used to build their nests

mud balled above the bedroom windows.

The stream behind the house had sticklebacks

and therefore occasional kingfishers.

Water voles used to swim in the stream

tunneling their nests into the banks.

But the stream was canalised to stop it flooding.

The martins couldn't glue to plastic.

And all that wildlife vanished.

But the frogs still spawn in the nearby meadow

and I always fetch some spawn or tadpoles

to my garden pond (as others do)

before the scrape dries up (quite often)

and all the tadpoles there die.

Frogs are clearly still surviving

and I have found one occasionally

hiding on my council allotment

across the other side of the stream.

But today was quite a wildlife special.

Never before have I found there

a newt.

It made my day.

Mediocrity

Preposterous art, pretentious poems,

potboiler novels, repetitive songs

are routine products of creative minds

that can't make masterpieces every time.

What is the English national flower?

Though roses look and smell so beautiful,

truly aristocrats of flowers,

perhaps something more representative,

more able to weather stormy showers,

a bit more common and down to earth

might be more appropriate as ours -

dandelion or daisy ?

Plenty of fish

Sure, so there's plenty of fish in the sea

but that doesn't mean there's any for me.

Sure, what I catch will depend on my bait

but nothing so far has reached my plate.

I've had lots of nibbles but nothing biting,

curious circling but nothing striking.

I might do better if I could use wealth

but I'll be lucky to even use health.

I could try deceit and mention youth

but some-one would soon discover the truth.

I can't use fame with an unknown name

and as for humour, it's only a rumour.

No matter how much I trawl the web

I fear I'm just too much of a pleb.

Pavlov

We're more and more like Pavlov's dogs

conditioned to salivate at the sight of

palm trees fringing golden beaches

and flaming  sun orbs dipping blue seas.

The thought of hotels dripping with drinks,

and magical menus makes us seize

the latest, once-in-a-lifetime offer

making us go quite weak at the knees.

We all need some sort of treat for the future

so that's the very thing that he's

got lined up for the months ahead

but "Where is the money coming from, please ?"

Seagulls

Although we're fifteen miles from the sea,

seagulls are flying here aerobatically  -

gliding, swooping, banking, turning,

a display as if the sky is gurning.

They must find food around the town

but what do they do when the sun goes down ?

Fly back to sleep on the beach or pier

or stay and roost on the rooftops here ?

Self awareness

One devastating drawback of intelligence 

is self awareness of our own inadequacies.

Unless we make world champion in this or that

or grab some fame for something praiseworthy,

we'll sometimes be confronted by the queasy feeling

of not being quite as great as we would like to be.

Physical appearance often gives concern

and different people deal with it in different ways.

Women can use make-up, beauty treatment, clothes

but my heart bleeds for those doomed ugly all their days.

Men can use their skill at sport to boost their ego

or manufacture macho sporting their tatoos.

Wealth and power don't fear inferiority

though insecurity may haunt what they might lose.

As for the young of either sex there's time enough

for optimistic hope to rectify their woes

and always possible partners helping overcome

or overlook their problems as time goes.

But it's the old where self-awareness strikes the hardest,

when failing powers can't help but tell that all's not well.

Then weaknesses must be acknowledged gracefully

but after all that time  -  so what the hell  !

What would I give for you atop my lap ?

Though dead for many years you're not forgotten.

I use your birthdate as numeric password

so every time that I set up my laptop

I think of you and miss you something rotten

Hammurabi

'Turn the other cheek' is bad advice

to those who value safety in society,

a view of human nature too naive

in thinking mercy, lack of punishment,

will cause offenders to improve behaviour.

It seems to me more likely to encourage

more occasions of the same offence

when punishment's less likely than before -

criminality with impunity.

Hammurabi ruled millenia ago

and gave more sensible advice and laws.

Although too keen on killing for minor crimes,

his rule for murder was just 'a life for a life'.

It's a pity the Jewish madman's influence

has softened Hammurabi's justice.

Tweets 16

People unhappy with themselves

are often angry with others.

I despair that so many people enjoy

TV programmes of murder and war.

The many problems mankind creates

will never be solved since selfishness,

personal greed and desire for status

outweigh its empathy, love and kindness.

Women can wear whatever they like

in the way of patterns and colour.

But men self restrict to single shades

and the better the darker and duller.

Gardening is a bit like gambling;

it might come good or it might not.

But the joy of gardening is stronger

since expectation and hope last longer.

There are too many minutes in the day

and the hours take so long to slide away

that morning, afternoon and evening keep

delaying me from getting back to sleep.

It's no use. You're just too old.

There isn't any sexual hunger.

Alright, I know. But how about

I promise to get younger ?

Brighton

Approaching the seaside town from the landside,

looking down from surrounding hills,

the sea beyond the city rose

above it like a clash of wills.

Threatening like cold grey steel,

a seemingly vertical water wall

made the puny houses cower

waiting for the flood to fall.

Older than the land, implacable,

asserting superiority

the ocean held itself in check

waiting opportunity.

But as I descended to the streets,

the people swam around like fishes,

the sea subsided and everywhere

the town resounded with good wishes.

The Paste Land

April's not the cruellist month

but perhaps the most hopeful of the year.

A layer of snow is not a warm blanket

for tubers that die when winter's severe.

It seems the banker is not a gardener

or even a proper poet at first,

more of an urban sermoniser

whose bleak dystopian images burst

upon a literary audience

romanticised for generations

by flowery verbiage so dense

it did indeed need pruning stations.

He led us all up the garden path

dispensing with the use of rhyme

in favour of the ice cold bath

of incongruous images all the time. 

Women

I have a high regard for women

as usually morally better than men,

more civilised and sympathetic,

more sinned against than sinning.

I always try to be polite

and wouldn't harm them for my life

but now no longer with a wife

why do abusive images excite ?

It's not just climate change that we're at war with;

there's also so much plastic in the sea,

so many species threatened with extinction

and all because of our fecundity.

We have so many problems still to deal with;

no use relying on technology.

It's not enough to save this ailing Earth by

replacing oil with electricity.

There's only one thing we can still be sure with;

the rest is almost triviality.

It's overpopulation is the problem;

reducing so many people is the key.