Perhaps a stumble, some minor slip,

the slightest fumble or loss of grip,

something slippery or too well polished -

whatever I'm holding crashes to ground.

I'm well aware it can't be abolished

but will some-one please turn the gravity down ?

Though ordinary, no kind of heart-throb,

when young a romance was always possible.

It's only now when I'm old and odd

that I feel for those whose lacks are visible.

The horror on the young woman's face

on my asking her to dance with me

certainly put me in my place

as a now impossible partner-to-be.

So late but since I've come to know

the sapping of confidence by rejection,

it's sad of course but much less so

than the plight of the unattractive young.

No need to tell her, she know's she's good looking,

knows all the men really fancy her.

At times their attention is overwhelming

with presents of perfumes, jewels and fur.

She loves adulation, adores being wanted

but always escapes when she's hunted.

No need to tell him, he know's he's good looking,

sees in their eyes the appreciation,

has only to choose from the women who seek him

and prove he's worth their admiration.

But, favoured in feature, he'll always be tempted

unless he can be prevented.

Everyone says they're a wonderful couple,

handsome and beautiful, made for each other.

But life will be different after the nuptials -

how will they cope as father and mother ?

And can they adapt to domestic living,

so used to receiving, unpractised at giving ?

Just another TV ad

This poor animal is unloved

and sometimes even reviled,

often imprisoned in a cage

and experimented on.

And when on its own in the night black wild

viciously hunted by fox and cat !

Please can you help with just a pound

to adopt a lonely rat ?

TikTok-er Rocker

You've certainly got the image alright -

studded and logoed black leather jacket,

thick leather gloves, boots, jeans too tight,

Zapata moustache, always up for a fight;

no-one would doubt at all you can hack it,

a real Easy Rider patrolling the night.

But something is missing, something's not right.

I wonder if you're aware that you lack it -

you Purgatory Angel in e-scooter plight.

Famous Photos

Don't travel the world to see the sights

made famous from iconic photos

for when you get to the actual places

either they look just as expected

or more likely they don't look as good.

The photographer who took that shot

had the skill to choose the best angle possible

judge the quality of the light

select the apropriate exposure

to make the photo a delight.

But you, dear traveller, take pot luck

on season, weather, time of day.

Your photo really won't match up

but does it actually matter much

as long as you show that you were there ? 

Rotovating

Rough digging in the autumn months,

to take advantage of winter frosts

can help the soil environment

at very little cost.

But rotovating in the spring

will probably do harm.

Although the earth looks fine and firm,

pity the poor worm.

The dancing mirrors the disco music

Weight on left foot, shift to right

(try to keep the royalties light)

keep on facing the same direction

(rhythm's enough, just repetition)

back to the left foot, look around

(give 'em the funky disco sound)

shift to right foot as before

(time to raise the volume more)

shuffle between left foot and right

(keep the sme sound all the night)

To aliens it might seem rather comic

(monotonous as metronomic)

As long as there's sufficient drink

there isn't any need to think

and everything will turn out right.

(another groovy disco night)

It made my day !

I've lived in the same house some decades.

House martins used to build their nests

mud balled above the bedroom windows.

The stream behind the house had sticklebacks

and therefore occasional kingfishers.

Water voles used to swim in the stream

tunneling their nests into the banks.

But the stream was canalised to stop it flooding.

The martins couldn't glue to plastic.

And all that wildlife vanished.

But the frogs still spawn in the nearby meadow

and I always fetch some spawn or tadpoles

to my garden pond (as others do)

before the scrape dries up (quite often)

and all the tadpoles there die.

Frogs are clearly still surviving

and I have found one occasionally

hiding on my council allotment

across the other side of the stream.

But today was quite a wildlife special.

Never before have I found there

a newt.

It made my day.

Mediocrity

Preposterous art, pretentious poems,

potboiler novels, repetitive songs

are routine products of creative minds

that can't make masterpieces every time.

What is the English national flower?

Though roses look and smell so beautiful,

truly aristocrats of flowers,

perhaps something more representative,

more able to weather stormy showers,

a bit more common and down to earth

might be more appropriate as ours -

dandelion or daisy ?

Plenty of fish

Sure, so there's plenty of fish in the sea

but that doesn't mean there's any for me.

Sure, what I catch will depend on my bait

but nothing so far has reached my plate.

I've had lots of nibbles but nothing biting,

curious circling but nothing striking.

I might do better if I could use wealth

but I'll be lucky to even use health.

I could try deceit and mention youth

but some-one would soon discover the truth.

I can't use fame with an unknown name

and as for humour, it's only a rumour.

No matter how much I trawl the web

I fear I'm just too much of a pleb.

Pavlov

We're more and more like Pavlov's dogs

conditioned to salivate at the sight of

palm trees fringing golden beaches

and flaming  sun orbs dipping blue seas.

The thought of hotels dripping with drinks,

and magical menus makes us seize

the latest, once-in-a-lifetime offer

making us go quite weak at the knees.

We all need some sort of treat for the future

so that's the very thing that he's

got lined up for the months ahead

but "Where is the money coming from, please ?"

Seagulls

Although we're fifteen miles from the sea,

seagulls are flying here aerobatically  -

gliding, swooping, banking, turning,

a display as if the sky is gurning.

They must find food around the town

but what do they do when the sun goes down ?

Fly back to sleep on the beach or pier

or stay and roost on the rooftops here ?

Self awareness

One devastating drawback of intelligence 

is self awareness of our own inadequacies.

Unless we make world champion in this or that

or grab some fame for something praiseworthy,

we'll sometimes be confronted by the queasy feeling

of not being quite as great as we would like to be.

Physical appearance often gives concern

and different people deal with it in different ways.

Women can use make-up, beauty treatment, clothes

but my heart bleeds for those doomed ugly all their days.

Men can use their skill at sport to boost their ego

or manufacture macho sporting their tatoos.

Wealth and power don't fear inferiority

though insecurity may haunt what they might lose.

As for the young of either sex there's time enough

for optimistic hope to rectify their woes

and always possible partners helping overcome

or overlook their problems as time goes.

But it's the old where self-awareness strikes the hardest,

when failing powers can't help but tell that all's not well.

Then weaknesses must be acknowledged gracefully

but after all that time  -  so what the hell  !

What would I give for you atop my lap ?

Though dead for many years you're not forgotten.

I use your birthdate as numeric password

so every time that I set up my laptop

I think of you and miss you something rotten

Hammurabi

'Turn the other cheek' is bad advice

to those who value safety in society,

a view of human nature too naive

in thinking mercy, lack of punishment,

will cause offenders to improve behaviour.

It seems to me more likely to encourage

more occasions of the same offence

when punishment's less likely than before -

criminality with impunity.

Hammurabi ruled millenia ago

and gave more sensible advice and laws.

Although too keen on killing for minor crimes,

his rule for murder was just 'a life for a life'.

It's a pity the Jewish madman's influence

has softened Hammurabi's justice.

Tweets 16

People unhappy with themselves

are often angry with others.

I despair that so many people enjoy

TV programmes of murder and war.

The many problems mankind creates

will never be solved since selfishness,

personal greed and desire for status

outweigh its empathy, love and kindness.

Women can wear whatever they like

in the way of patterns and colour.

But men self restrict to single shades

and the better the darker and duller.

Gardening is a bit like gambling;

it might come good or it might not.

But the joy of gardening is stronger

since expectation and hope last longer.

There are too many minutes in the day

and the hours take so long to slide away

that morning, afternoon and evening keep

delaying me from getting back to sleep.

It's no use. You're just too old.

There isn't any sexual hunger.

Alright, I know. But how about

I promise to get younger ?

Brighton

Approaching the seaside town from the landside,

looking down from surrounding hills,

the sea beyond the city rose

above it like a clash of wills.

Threatening like cold grey steel,

a seemingly vertical water wall

made the puny houses cower

waiting for the flood to fall.

Older than the land, implacable,

asserting superiority

the ocean held itself in check

waiting opportunity.

But as I descended to the streets,

the people swam around like fishes,

the sea subsided and everywhere

the town resounded with good wishes.

The Paste Land

April's not the cruellist month

but perhaps the most hopeful of the year.

A layer of snow is not a warm blanket

for tubers that die when winter's severe.

It seems the banker is not a gardener

or even a proper poet at first,

more of an urban sermoniser

whose bleak dystopian images burst

upon a literary audience

romanticised for generations

by flowery verbiage so dense

it did indeed need pruning stations.

He led us all up the garden path

dispensing with the use of rhyme

in favour of the ice cold bath

of incongruous images all the time. 

Women

I have a high regard for women

as usually morally better than men,

more civilised and sympathetic,

more sinned against than sinning.

I always try to be polite

and wouldn't harm them for my life

but now no longer with a wife

why do abusive images excite ?

It's not just climate change that we're at war with;

there's also so much plastic in the sea,

so many species threatened with extinction

and all because of our fecundity.

We have so many problems still to deal with;

no use relying on technology.

It's not enough to save this ailing Earth by

replacing oil with electricity.

There's only one thing we can still be sure with;

the rest is almost triviality.

It's overpopulation is the problem;

reducing so many people is the key.

The uncurbed vanity of the powerful

is so often the immediate cause

of competition, conflict and

misery for many in unnecessary wars.

No mirage

Above the clouds

the chains of jagged icebergs

stretch the darkened sea

until ahead

the white sand dunes loom upwards

over plane and me.

Why are some women hooked on lip filler?

Extra bait to look more dishy?

But bloated lips sometimes look silly.

Seems to me there's something fishy.

Xmas and the barbarians

I guess the northern hemisphere pagans didn't like

those upstart Christians stealing their winter festival

but, for the serious gloomy newcomers to hike

something to brighten the dark was only sensible.

Now however the barbarians are fighting back

with tantalising orgies of indulgence,

exchanging presents of things we didn't lack

and decorative frippery in resurgence.

Commerce doesn't really bother with complaints,

totally intent on finishing the heist

by Mammon's latest pantheon of saints

where Father Christmas outramks Jesus Christ.

His indiscretions vaunted

she could not call him liar

but modesty so taunted

made fuel for the fire.

More arguments augmented

the marriage funeral pyre

while differences when vented

served only to inspire

one thought which really counted

explaining problems prior :

women want to be wanted

while men desire desire.

Tweets 15

 

I strained my left knee

and then my right thigh

but vowed that my mind would prevail

(forgetting that the body's got

an awkward mind of its own)

Death is nothing to be afraid of. Dying is.

Dying may be difficult but death is nothing.

Different for octogenarian and bridegroom

waiting for bedtime  ' that the night come '

House plants are pets that don't need walking.

Though aging, two things still amaze,

enthrall the gaze,

enhance the hours -

the beauty of women and flowers.

Wealth, fame and power aren't for me

'cause I'm content as nonentity. 

My little life does little harm

but equally does little good.

Q & A

Reasonably tall, slim bodied, firm muscled,

weekend discos, usual place.

Who could possibly think that I'm old?

All those that see my face !

So you want cliches !

Saturday mourning writer's block

hoping the tutor might unlock

th latent talent squaring the circle

frantically active more than it looks -

a baker's dozen cooking the books.

(New Writing South, Crawley Library, 3/9/23)

Holes in my spinach

(on allotment not plate).

Maybe pigeons or bugs?

Reluctantly I used some bait -

one hundred nineteen dead slugs.

We wear the clothes of our time and place

and cut our hair and shave or not

very much as others do.

We eat the food of our time and place,

romanticise some holiday spot

for something to look forward to.

We watch the films of our time and place,

TV soaps and murder plots

to note the tell-tale killer clue.

We think the thoughts of our time and place

imbibing those acquired by lot

from birth to form our point of view.

As times and places change, no wonder

normality's no longer what

it used to be but something new.

The dreams that swim in rivers of sleep

gleam silver through the surface, glide

downstream towards the flowing deep

of troubled currents in the tide.

In oceans of unconsciousness

the nightmares hide beyond the light,

ride luminescent, motionless

till they float upward in the night.

At dawn the flying fish that pierce

the waves of memory may strand

themselves; the subtle colours, fierce

eyes dim; their bones crumble to sand.

Our dreams are not for keeping; they

dive waters of forgetfulness

with bright scales irridescent in spray.

Dreams, like fish, should be always fresh.

I thought it looked like a rat or mouse

running so quickly across the grass

but when I saw it near the house

and again it ran away very fast,

I could hardly credit that it was a bird -

a juvenile robin, breast not yet red.

Why didn't it fly? Just seems absurd.

A cat will catch it. Probably dead.

With pearls for teeth and ruby lips,

sleek jet black hair and emerald eyes,

with golden shoulders, ivory hips,

pale opal breasts and silver thighs

your beauty is so near divine,

no need for jewels, diamond mine.

"them", "they" and "their" for a single person

are ungrammatical and confusing

because those words are essentially plural.

The transgender world requires using

some new words for the new situation -

something singular just by fusing

"he" and "she" to breathy "shhe",

"him" and "her" to "hem" and "hir"

and "his" and "hers" to "hirs".

A little practice will make it clear(s) !

While reading

I thought to kill it with a clap

as it floated upwards to my face.

Another fruit fly from the plants,

a plague of Spring inside the room.

But then I saw how smooth the rise.

No flying insect's flitty flight

but aimed intently straight ahead.

And as it neared the legs came clear.

A tiny spider it appeared.

But how could it rise so steadily?

Convection current in the air?

Some invisible trailing hair?

Whatever, it climbed out of sight

to mount on glasses, eyebrow, skin?

A trivial moment of delight.

So many beautiful young women !

I look at them with hidden lust.

They of course don't look at me

or if they do, it's with disgust.

She wants

to be diaphanous as her dress,

an insubstantial spirit free

from all the disagreeable stress

of functioning biology,

to banish farts and faeces, sweat

and menstrual liquidity

but what I want is warmth in bed,

her smoothness and solidity.

She hopes her pungent perfumes quell

all hint of animality

but I prefer the ranker smell

of female sexuality.

Despite our differences I learn

to treat her dreams with gravity

and she endeavours in her turn

to live with my depravity.

Dating ?

Regular visitors to my garden

when the sun shines between the showers,

a pair of wood pigeons forage together

searching for food among the flowers.

It makes me wonder what's their connection.

Just the two of them, never with others.

Possibly an old married couple?

Or family bonded, sisters, brothers?

Or perhaps the start of a new relation?

As so often seen together lends

credence to speculation whether

it's a new romance or just good friends.

Though sexes attract

the contact is fraught;

the act is the fact

but the thrill is the thought,

TWEETS 14

Sad but true.

Personality and character do not infatuate.

Looks do.

Not rocking robin but hopping robin !

Always on the lookout for grub,

concentrating, arms akimbo,

jumping two footed from tub to tub.

Snow in May there lying on the ground ?

No, just apple blossom fallen thick around.

Earth's ills

-------------

The problem is not just pollution,

and climate change; it's population.

HOSPICE

I keep waking up.

God! When will it stop?

Enjoyment accompanies events;

satisfaction lingers longer.

It's much like dermatitis hatching,

the masochistic pain of itching,

the knowingly harmful joy of scratching -

young women in the disco - leching !

If, like the Chinese, we had an almanac,

this year would be The Year Of The Slug.

The long delayed springtime explosion

bursting a universe of leaves

clouds the sky with constellations

which the summer solar breeze

automatically weaves

into the swirling textures of trees.

Modern gardening

Not long ago the tools of the trade

were trowel, hoe, fork and spade.

But now, as if by TV law,

it's hammer and nails, drill and saw.

A disappointing evening

The singer climbed on top of the amps;

the male bass guitarist wore a dress.

Such circus antics more than hint

their music won't impress.

driving home pop music playing

country lanes at 1 a.m.

nearside verge a hedgehog crossing

used to have them in my garden

not for years now take it with me

passed it damn reversed pell mell

but the grass too dark to see -

good luck hedgehog wish you well

With caviar and champagne we taste the expense.

With Porsche and Ferrari we drive the image.

With sand, sea and palm trees we dream the escape.

With flat white and latte we feel the relax.

With soaps and commedies we make time pass.

But with partner and children we surely live life.

Tweets 13

The children watch cartoons in vivid colour

but only understand in black and white.

Not so common - illusions like these

where the lake water seems to dip down to the trees.

The backwards baseball cap makes you no fool

but doesn't keep your sweaty forehead cool.

She's at school now so knows not everything's fun

and sometimes there's chores that just have to be done.

The crashing waves on the speedboat's hull

pounded a hip hop rhythm (just as dull).

"  .  .  . would the Lord the giftie gie us

to see ourselves as others see us"  R. Burns

He did. On social media.

If you can't do it, you just can't do it.

That's really all there is to it.

PANAMA via Sally

A remarkable feat of organisation

amply deserving congratulation.

PANAMA

So many hill peaks drenched in vegetation,

layered with trees and littered with life.

So many boozy drinks are sour

and the supping of them darkly dour

I prefer to remember my strawberry cider

and the tongue rolling taste of Tia Maria.

AFFAIR

See, talk, touch, kiss, hold, feel, penetrate.

There's no need to feel depressed;

there can be rainbows in the depths.

MARRIAGE

The nights of masturbation are past

but those of fantasy are not outcast.

Why is it we all accept the wrong part ?

Love is in the brain not in the heart.

And sex is more about emotion

than any length of time in coital friction.

Allotments in winter

Why cover the soil with plastic sheeting?

To keep the seeds warm when it's sleeting?

They wouldn't grow all the while it's cold.

They need the spring sunshine to make them unfold.

And then, when you take the sheeting away

your new pampered crop of weeds can display.

I don't see well;

I don't hear well;

my teeth are crumbling fast.

My skin is tissue,

old age the issue -

I think good times are past.

A different recycling

At the council tip it's astonishing

to observe the things that are thrown away.

It's as if a crack or a tiny tear

makes an object somehow beyond repair.

So I rescue stuff (more than I ought)

and leave with more junk than I brought.

Tweets 12

Children are separate people

not extensions of parents' egos.

One sign of Spring

-----------------------

How can a tiny female frog

produce such a massive dollop of spawn?

Chasers and Eggheads are very knowledgeable

but not necessarily clever.

I've spent most of my life acquiring things

and the rest will be getting rid of them.

The seeds grow when they're wet and hot

but wet and cold - they rot.

Good  Intentions

It's easier to buy a book than read it.

So you see that everyone's looking at you

but so must you be looking at them.

I didn't care about the naked body,

fascinated by the beautiful face

of the woman chained and being whipped -

it just seemed out of place.

I may enjoy a TV show

but enjoyment doesn't last long

whereas the satisfaction gained

from a job well done is STRONG.

Sex frustrated tends to hatred.

Great tits and blue tits singing up high;

one robin feeding a worm to another;

jackdaws peeling off pairs in the sky;

two woodpigeons basking in sunshine together;

and the sun itself edging daily more steep -

Spring is stirring from its winter sleep.

Seaside Disco Bar - No Entry Charge

 A few old regulars like me

but packed with visitors - day trippers,

foreign tourists, down from Londoners,

mature weekenders, nervous students

paddling in the surging waves

of alcohol and music, posing,

posturing the tuneless rhythm,

attempting tempting, sampling partners,

enjoying flirting through the dancing.

Now some are hugging, lips to lips,

and rubbing bodies chest to breast,

the adventurous crotch to crotch.

At 2 am the music stops,

the lights go up and swipe away

the feverish condensation.

Romance evaporates as faces age

and conversation calms to normal.

Back to the baby sitting husband,

night shift girlfriend, TV watching wife

or empty bed and masturbatory dreams.

A good night.

Teenage boys are rarely fret free

fantasising "Who will let me?"

Teenage girls on average bluntly

face the question "Who will want me?"

For President Zelensky

You surely must have realised

that putting Ukraine into NATO

would dangerously antagonise

its historical Russian neighbour.

For possibly having American nukes

stationed right on its western border

wasn't something that any Russian

leader could ever shoulder.

Presumably you judged that Putin

wasn't aggressive enough to start

a war which might get out of hand

with other countries taking part.

Perhaps you underestimated

the need to look big for a little man.

Now that he sees his big mistake

perhaps you could rescind your own.

Now that you know that other countries

will come to your aid you could just veto

your earlier misjudged application -

perhaps you don't need NATO.