Lock down the larder. Mask the fridge.

Keep safe distance from the freezer.

Working from home sets me on edge,

food temptation such a squeezer.

What will the next pandemic be?

Something linked to obesity.

Rush hour in the branches

 Blowing with the falling leaves

a sudden squall of blue and great

and long tailed tits all intermingled

sailed the brisk December breeze.

I wondered why an avian flock

so diverse flowed for several minutes,

all streaming in the same direction,

through the winter wasted trees.

Nothing apparently pursuing

so, intent on destination,

perhaps encouraging each other

they can go wherever they please.

But they're flying to who knows where?

Still too warm to really care

escaping the mid-winter cold

before the fields and gardens freeze.

Perhaps they're spurred by casual stories

heard from chiff chaff or some warblers

of places where the sun's still warm

and life is lived with greater ease.

Certainly they're heading south

surfing on the chill north wind,

tumbling through the straggled branches

of my garden's apple trees.

She's the attractive one. I'm just her friend.

She gets attention from all of the men

jostling each other to ask her to dance.

They don't notice me, except maybe a glance.

Sure, I'm not happy at being ignored

but it's better than staying at home to get bored.

I know I'm not beautiful, can't expect much

but every so often enjoy a guy's touch.

And she understands - as soon as I can

I'll go my own way and swap her for a man.

Belly dance

Such sensual undulations in

the fluid body's rippling skin;

enticement in the waving flex

but ancient threat in the slow relax;

seduction in such lazy motion -

a calm day on the flat-bellied ocean !

Bamberry

I've read somewhere oriental bamboo

is the fastest growing plant on Earth

but for this summer it won't be true

because, despite the prolonged dearth

of rain in England, continual sun

with record heat, deep rots in clay

have all combined together to run

a new contender into play.

My blackberry plant, though lacking charms,

just like some giant, deep sea squid,

has outflung all its grasping arms

to post its oriental bid.

I never would have believed a plant

could grow so fast and overwhelm

all other foliage that can't

escape this tyrant's realm.

Garden Centre

The slaughtered are arranged in rows,

displayed so everybody sees

a kind of genocide that shows

the massacre of christmas trees.

The castle of the ego is assaulted

on all sides by images and ideas.

The guarding walls are slowly undermined,

the moat drained dry by prejudice and fears.

The citadel of ego is bombarded

relentlessly by missiles from above.

Besieged by banners, only ignoring sleepers,

uncaptured, blind and deaf, survive in love.

Tweets 6

New driving habit

----------------------

Now that the price of petrol's so damn high

whenever possible I do my best to try

and cut my driving costs the most -

wherever I can I coast.

For some women a man's

just the means to an end

if his love will extend

to the children she plans.

Not all abilities decline with age.

Some indeed may actually improve.

Although self-confidence may slip a stage,

self-delusion makes an upward move.

Companionship is animal.

Love is uniquely human.

Spending money to make life easy

gives less satisfaction than

successfully struggling cheaply.

For some people chores are a burden,

just a waste of time.

For others they're a godsend,

a way to fill up time.

The camera never lies ?

-----------------------------

Why is it, I wonder,

that my face looks better

in my bathroom mirror

than in my camera ?

The gym transmutes inactive lethargy

into healthy satisfying fatigue.

Like the mediaeval Philosophers' Stone

a gympass is a precious gymstone.

Why spend a fortune on a fancy watch

instead of a quid on a lapel badge

to say just the same  -  'I am rich'.

I spread a piece of bread with butter,

layered it with jam,

topped it off with runny honey,

(makes a change from spam)

sliced it into two but fumbled,

dropped them on the ground.

Typical of lifelong luck -

both landed spread side down. 

Forget about Frankenstein, Dracula, dragons,

werewolves and wiches, ogres and bogeymen.

Ditch djinns, dinosaurs, ghouls, zombies and demons -

the most malevolent monsters are humans.

We see and hear and read so much

about our environmental problems

but still ignore the elephant in the room.

We know so much about global warming,

air pollution, species extinction,

plastics in the sea - predictions of doom.

Yet still the tusker is unrecognised

in our worries about our ailing Earth

while we search for cures amid prevailing gloom.

But is it ours, this jewel of Earth?

For sure, humanity's so dominant

we treat it like some family heirloom.

Yet we have really stolen it,

usurped it with so many people

that other forms of life have little room.

The elephant is human population

and it's not enough to slow its growth;

we urgently need to reduce it - and soon !

Why aren't all the world's governments

keenly promoting birth control

with free contraceptive pills and condoms?

Will it need wars or worldwide plagues

to cull our rampant humanity?

Perhaps over-using antibiotics is a boon

for all the Earth's non-human life

if a global pandemic decimates

mankind one minute before high noon.

Is human misery on such  scale

the ultimate price we'll have to pay

to enable a healthier planet to bloom?

Otherwise there'll be no room

for that ostracised elephant in the room.

How many mistakes do I make in a day?

I tried to keep count but lost my way.

Perhaps a calculator could say

with integral calculus showing the way

Brief (allotment) Encounter

"My word, you've got a lot of weeds"

she said. Cheeky so-and-so !

"Of course" I said "I grow them for compost.

Everyone here does. Didn't you know?"

"Oh" she muttered. Exit deflated lady.

(Well, only a little lie as lies go)

Young women filled the tiny dance floor

rocking and rolling to the beat,

beauty shining with more and more

smiles and laughter on rhythmic feet.

But strange that none of them have men

hovering by, coming and going.

Too many surely for a hen party,

bridal sash and maids not showing.

And then it hit me - the entrance quids,

a charity name discreetly labelled !

Their men are home looking after the kids

at least one of whom will be disabled.

So now the scene becomes much darker.

The women here must all be plucky,

dealing with problems in a life much starker -

the yummy mummies who birthed unlucky.

When those expensive garden centre flowers

have flourished, bloomed, shrivelled and died,

self-sown hollyhocks, nasturtiums,

marigolds have survived.

We pride ourselves on our standards of hygiene

and every housewife's cleanliness

yet how much of that is not for health

but rather 'civilised' squeamishness ?

Tweets 5

Enjoyment accompanies an event.

Satisfaction comes later.

 

The song before the singer

--------------------------------

Pub bands are better to listen and dance to

than top bands or, even worse, tribute bands.

They play the best of everyone's music

not just their own, ignoring the mediocre.

Rapist and muderer

------------------------

Does he deserve to be housed and fed

for several decades at public expense?

Of course not. He should be executed.

Why are we as a nation so bloody dense?

The drug war should be extended wider

for TV, brands and social media.

Coming soon, tickets at great expense,

a top band's visual effects show

(with accompanying background music).

The dew's on the grass.

The summer is past.

Where is the justice?

-------------------------

A murderer served 33 years of restricted life.

His two teenage victims lost between them

130 years of no life at all.

I certainly don't want penury

but equally don't crave luxury.

Blackberrying - a lesson for life.

-------------------------------------

It's always the biggest and juiciest berries

that fall in the brambles before you can pick them

Out On A Limb

-------------------

Diseased, decaying, putrid blued ?

Nothing unhealthy, just tatooed !

Olympic Medal Tally Positions

---------------------------

Over-rating just the gold

or over-rating total medals

surely could be better told

by using points for different colours -

3 for gold, then 2, then 1

with positions according to the sum.

Olympic  Anomaly

-----------------------

Tje losing semi-finalists in every sport

compete for one to win the bronze.

In every sport that is but one !

Why does boxing give a bronze

to both of those losers that fought ?

Olympic Hangover

-----------------------

We've banned from circusses

all animal performances

but the horsey coteries

still have their dressages.

A novelist builds houses.

A poet crafts jewels.

So what was so special that Freud discovered ?

That young boys fantasise fucking their mothers !

Male  Unmentionables

---------------------------

What is he thinking while she's sucking ?

What fantasising when he's fucking ?

None of us are perfect though

we try to do what we think we should

but recent sad events have shown

'religious' doesn't mean 'good'.

Does your garden need a makeover?

Just let our TV experts take over.

But keeping the attention of the audience

requires immediate impact hence

they haven't time to hoe and sow

and wait for various seeds to grow.

They have to buy their plants in pots

and spend a fortune getting lots

of bushes, trees and furniture

and you'll fund that expenditure.

You can put away your fork and spade

and any other tools you've made.

Instead they'll use saw, hammer and drill

with concrete, wood and stone to fill

your garden space with architecture

and then give you the standard lecture

on bringing the house into the garden.

And this is where I'd like to mention

that living outside is doubtful in summer,

impossible when the weather's grimmer.

For this is England not Miami -

warmth and shelter are necessary.

Tweets 4

Skin Tone Words:

white and black are far apart

but pale shades into dark.

History is more about egos than heroes.

The Miser

forgoes the pleasure of spending money

for the satisfaction of seeing it grow.

Neatness is a tempting siren

distracting from more important tasks.

BEST FRIENDS

You're never alone

with a mobile phone

MEN IN SHORTS

When less than forty

it's nice to look sporty.

Once well past forty

they crave to look sporty.

Reality isn't always what it seems

when haunted by the deja vu of dreams.

We think we choose the chores to do

but sometimes they jump out and ambush you.

Every day I work the fields and walk the hills

and every evening peer over the edge of the cliff.

Communist? Fascist? Doesn't matter

as long as he keeps to stay dictator

Growing flowers on an allotment

seems to me an admission of failure

Now that my hair has gone quite curly

I've grown a moustache to look less girly

Democracy is a great idea spoiled

by the vanity of politicians.

Fallen petals bright but fading,

luscious litter after aiding

summer's proper procreation.

Sadly cast down ostentation,

time discarding sated beauty -

damp detritus after duty.

(also applicable to flowers)

. . . and the overall winner is 'Gold Medal Reg'

once again showing the best fruit and veg.

Thank goodness at least he doesn't grow flowers

as even his weeds are better than ours.

We all admire the lone protester

blocking the path of the Chinese tank

but praise as well the tank commander

deciding not to make him a plank.

"I hear you've got a new flatmate.

Some-one said he's weird."

"Well, different, being the first guy.

Nothing to be feared."

"And is he quite good-looking?"

"Just another beard."

House proud nuthatch

It seems the hole

in a broken bole

of an alder tree

that was going free

was not good enough

with the entrance rough

but rather than move

he pecked it smooth.

Although we can't completely change work into play,

every little helps to brighten up a mundane day

and possibly provide a means of stress release -

don't they have such pretty cars, the police.

I was shocked by the stats on domestic abuse

with reports of one million cases a year

being brought to the notice of UK police

and even more unreported I fear.

In earlier times there was only the village

or neighbourhood offering partners to wed

so, unless you were into career rape and pillage,

it was only the local girls men hoped to wed.

Very few would be beauties but that was acceptable.

You and your mates were all in the same boat.

You'd be happy to share life with some-one amenable

and raise up some kids on whom you could dote.

But now that we see such beautiful women

in print and on screens for so much of the time

some men might feel cheated with average wives

especially so when they're past their prime.

Relationships also may suffer from so much

abusive pornography shown on the web.

When men get a thrill from the sex that they watch,

they then want the same in the marital bed.

Deep down men can harbour a sense of resentment

at women because of youthful frustration

through years of rejection when still adolescent

and consequent dark thoughts in masturbation.

When mutual feelings set sail on the ocean,

passion causes the crashing waves.

Love is the swelling surface motion

but the depth goes down to tectonic plates.

The awesome mass of so many fathoms

is composed of respect and admiration

which can leak away if the sea-bed cracks

and leave only dried up desolation.

It's hard to live in a harsh salt desert

with a lack of emotional nourishment.

Without a welcoming warm oasis

life is just banishment, punishment.

But even when there is no respect,

not even cheating gives any excuse

for causing a partner to accept

domestic violence or abuse.

I didn't recognise the true leaves of the seedlings

growing in the greenhouse in a tray.

And since I mixed some mole earth with bought compost

it's possible those thriving plantlets may

be something from the meadow where the moles dig.

How can I tell?  But now a single touch settles

the matter immediately.  Stinging nettles !

I know there's a science explanation

about the colour of the sky

and feel it would be presumptuous

of me to question why

it has to be so complicated.

I give the scientists their due

but seeing as it's Some-one's carpet,

I just think God likes blue.

Wildlife incident

Two pigeons perched on the garden fence

confrontational face to face

jabbing each other with their beaks.

I assumed they were fighting for dominance

control perhaps of the garden space.

It looked quite painful on their cheeks.

But then one mounted on the other !

Oh, I see. Their pecking was necking.

Because I'm dead I have no rights but one

yet he that murdered me lives on

and, though in prison, still enjoys so much

of what life has to offer such

as comradeship and love of family

while my folk never will see me

again. They scan a void where howls of loss

reverberate but cannot cross.

Adaptable as people are, in time

his life will mould anew, his crime

not punished by the hell of galley slaves

now human rights cede much he craves

like decent food, gym, music books, TV -

none of which things can comfort me.

Absent, I am forgotten, my one right 

ignored while gradually his plight

gains sympathy for his release. Throughout

imprisonment he has no doubt

he will be free at last. My kin and I

have no such hope. He made me die

and yet enjoys some life which is not fair.

"Forgive" they say, which only means don't care.

I in eternity cannot forgive.

Common fairness says he shall not live.

Because I'm dead I have no rights but one

which is that execution must be done.

Quote unquote

"So love is nothing then?" she asked, sweet child.

"Not everywhere" he said "but yes with us"

"But why?" persisting, "That's not sensible"

"I don't know why" he answered. Then he smiled.

"The world's not sensible. You'll find out soon enough"

"But why accept something non-sensical?"

"It's nothing much" he joked, "Don't get so wild.

That love means nothing doesn't need such fuss.

You can't blame me. I'm not responsible"

He felt himself becoming somewhat riled.

"Ask some-one who knows tennis more than me"

Hello Beautiful.

You look wonderful this morning.

Such a radiant face.

Although your skirt is past its best.

Do you need a drink?

Though it comes with a warning.

This is your new home,

the perfect place to rest,

my gorgeous Phalaenopsis.

Ensemble Reza

A rain flecked day, somewhere to go for free,

a concert in a church hall, music and poetry.

There a quartet of classicly trained musicians

combines with aging, aspiring, amateur poets

to entertain an audiance of white haired daisies

sprinkling the lined lawnof green church chairs.

A lady violinist bends to her bow gymnastically

while her companion cradles her coital cello.

The male cellist switches to double bass

providing a rhythm the poems sadly lack.

Culture makes an effort to assert itself

while life passes by beyond the glass entry doors.

 Travel broadens the mind they used to say
but isn't it ironic that today

we travel more yet the more we roam

the more those foreign countries get like home.

Wallflower

Why can't I be beautiful?
Why do I have to stand
around the edge of the dancing crowd

just listening to the band?

I want a boy to dance with,

somebody tall and smart,

somebody who wants me for myself,

my body and my heart.

I can give someone so much love

but never get the chance.

Because I'm fat and plain and dull

I don't get asked to dance.

Surely someone will see my soul

is brighter than my face.

Life is short. I may not win

but I want to join the race.

Wisdom not wealth was what I wanted.

Status and fame were not for me.

Now I can see it makes no difference -

they're all just forms of vanity.

 The first miracle is that the Universe exists.

The second that the Earth is so alive.

the third is Mankind.

The fourth will be if the second can survive the third.

Cultural tradition

When weeding beans he works too fast

and by mistake he cuts some down,

the farmhand's annoyance doesn't last

when dissipated by the sound

echoing down the centuries

(as long as there's no gentry round)

by Anglo-Saxon peasantries -

Oh, fuck !

Today from my high plebeian seat

the air is threaded by busy birds.

While many mammals are still asleep,

the sentinel magpies man the alerts

on the topmost twigs of the dormant trees.

As cruising seagulls glide nearby,

jackdaws in squadrons on spitfire wings

dance in circles till roosting high

they fill the air with their chatterings.

Sky turtle pigeons are sawing the sky

then resting to float like toy paper planes

creased by some little boy. The day

fades to dusk as the Spring sunshine wanes.

It's beginning to get too cold to stay.

Home ! where the little birds huddle the lanes.

We think we know how to do things

having done it that way for years

(and getting it right to the letter)

but always there are other ways

(and some of them might be better).

My God, she stunned in her white bikini

glowing against her deep tanned body

( although it might have been better hinted

than having a smudge of pubic hair printed )

( and embroidered nipples aren't quite seemly)

and then I realised That's not a bikini.

The advantage of winter is spring

when resurgence of life in a trillion trees

starts to net the empowering sun.

All the flowers and leaves that unfold

provide insects and cover to make the birds sing

and the nectar to fatten the bees.

The new cycle of nature begun,

even mammals and men must respond to the hold

of the temperate seasonal swing

from dejection when cold winters freeze

to the hope and the plans that soar up with the sun

making summer green worth more than gold.

Lockdown

 It's an achievement

just getting through another day

but then this is my only life

just leaking away.

Flotsam

A driftwood log far out from shore,

a landgrown thing now lost at sea

as helpless out of element

as you make me.

With others I can chat and joke;

with you I don't know what to say.

The words won't come because you take

my breath away.

So now I wallow in the waves,

floundering where the currents flow

and drift uncaring in these seas

I do not know.

It's not just climate change that we're at war with;

there's so much plastic in the sea'

so many species threatened with extinction

and all because of our fecundity.

We have so many problems to do more with;

no use relying on technology.

It's not enough to save this ailing Earth with -

replacing gas with electricity.

There's only one thing we can still be sure with;

the rest is almost triviality.

It's overpopulation is the problem -

reducing too many people is the key.

Men in shorts

A man in shorts shows summer sense,

gains vitamin D in keeping cool

but men in shorts still in the winter

perhaps lack trousers, train as sprinter

or else just think they're looking cool

when really they lack common sense. 

Adolescence

I didn't talk to you

or touch you for I knew

that if I did the world

would crack and we be hurled

into a sinking sea

to watch each other drown.

Perhaps you dreamed of joy

believing girl and boy

could float on tidal waves

and find a beach that saves.

Now I can't face your free

uncomprehending frown.

Swim Stroke

Who chose such a silly name?

Fluttering used to label strength;

frailty mis-applied to power

plunging headlong down the length.

Surely nature can do better -

some improvement would be 'penguin'.

Or else use 'porpoise'. Why not 'dolphin' ?

Butterflies can't even swim !

After watching Bruno v Tyson

I had a peculiar dream

of a party with men and women guests

and some more in between.

And nobody knew who was intersex

but nobody minded telling

and nobody cared yet everyone cared

and everybody was gelling.