I try to do the washing up

immediately after the meal

or else the residue of food 

that's left will just congeal

and be much harder to remove

needing extra zeal.

Isn't that the way it is

also when we argue ?

The leftovers of hot dispute

will cool and stick like glue

unless we wipe the plate clean

immediately we're through.

The guy from Ipanema

 So you think she doesn't see you

sitting there on your own.

Silly old fool ! Of course she sees you

without a woman all alone.

Of course she knows you're always there

but actually she doesn't care.

You're just another lecher

like the others that she's known.

What population problem ?

Couples with too many children

old folk with too many years

overpopulate Earth unless

war or disease interferes.

'Road closed' the signage said

'Diversion' to the right.

But they moved the signs for the bus I was on

at ten o'clock at night.

Led by a 'Highway Maintenance' van

we trundled the empty lanes.

Well, here's a rare example , I thought,

when public service gains.

Christmas is a kind of game

that anyone can play

to lift the gloom of northern winter

for more than just one day.

" How Britain won World War 2 " ? ?

Let's down the spitfires and forget

the ignominy of Dunkirk.

We actually didn't win World War Two -

the Russians and the Americans did,

with help from Britain, and don't forget

the many volunteer Commonwealth troops.

Nobody mentions Singapore,

the ignominy of surrender.

We lost an empire which is actually

cause for congratulation, ceding

albeit sometimes unwillingly

worldwide colonies' independence.

Only a popularity addict

seeking votes could brazenly praise

" . . the generation that won the war . ."