"It's a hard habit to break" she said "I know"
I assumed she was thinking of her husband
lately deceased but reputed a miser.
Having mentioned I'd reached that stage of life
when inheritance tax becomes a concern,
her comment did make me a little bit wiser -
I've only got funds from the little I've earned
because all my life I've been economical
but I'm finding she's right - a hard habit to break,
just like her husband, too true to be comical.
I seem to be expert at saving my money
with little idea of just how to spend it.
It's certainly crazy but not really funny:
I'm no fan of fashion or fancy restaurants;
I don't care for cars or technology;
won't go for gimmicks or special offers
or fall for some salesman's kidology.
So will all my money stay locked in my coffers?
Well, what I do like doesn't cost very much:
the garden and council allotment I tend
(and because I eat all of the crops that I grow,
I actually save a lot more than I spend);
drinking sweet cider and dancing to pop tunes
(but only in places with no entry charge !);
an occasional quiz, some sport on TV;
self-delusion of fitness by courtesy
of the weights and equipment in my local gym
(the annual membership one luxury).
I could spend my money on more foreign travel
but there's not many places I still want to visit.
I'd like to spend money on dining young women
but they don't want to know me as being decrepit.
So perhaps I give up and just take the advice
of some favourite poets - Belloc and Byron,
accepting I'm stuck with the 'gentlemanly vice' -
involuntary avarice.