TEACHING
I certainly never thought much of the pay
but I did get a lot of holiday.
NOSE DROP
It seems to me now that I'm old
the end of my nose is always cold.
MALE SECRETS
The world of men is a charnel house
full of the bones from skeletons in cupboards.
She asked me to write her a poem.
No need, I said, you ARE one.
The women I want just don't want me
and the ones I don't want do.
EPITAPH
Gym junkie, gardener, poet, dancer.
PRAISEWORTHY TOLERANCE
Though murderous muslims test society
normal folk aren't murdering muslims
I'm really trying to ignor all those offers aimed to please;
I'm really tired of being conned by all the Ts and Cs.
I hate this damned detritus of the floor.
As soon as I've cleaned up there's always more.
AFFAIRS
Sex is a superficial sore.
Love is the cancer at the core.
Years calm appetites
but fail to banish fantasies.
Everybody else's death
is easily understandable.
Only our own isn't.
Do hunky guys with bigger dicks
feel extra pressure on their pricks?
SEEDLINGS
Home them longer
till they're stronger
to thwart the thugs
of this year's slugs.
Nothing feels finer
than a woman's vagina.
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