My mother told me I never should

let a boy know I think he looks good.

So now when I go to some boyband's gig,

dressed up all sexy and fired by a swig

of vodka, I really grab at the chance

to shout that I love them and hope they glance

my way in the crowd and see that I'm there,

jump down to get me and answer my prayer.

But after it's over, on the way home,

I know it's just pipe dreams and all alone

in my bedroom I realise how I'll be glad

to meet in my town some presentable lad

who'll love me and help me to bring up our kids,

be faithful and work hard to bring in the quids.

I still go to gigs 'cos it's something to do

but look for the boys in the crowd for the few

possible partners till I find the one

I can tell to his face that he's more than just fun.